Friends

I'm pretty sure that one of the greatest gifts the Lord can give you in life are good friends. I have some wonderful friends. There's a few that I can literally count on no matter what happens. They will come help me when I'm stressed at work, they will listen when I'm sad or lost, they will pick up my children if there's an emergency, they will do whatever it takes to help me. I try very hard to be a good friend to them as well. I treasure their friendship more than they will ever know, especially being an only child...my friends, my best friends are like my sisters. What does it take to be a good friend in my book? 1) Trust... it the essential function to a relationship. You should be able to vent to a friend and no one ever find out. 2) Be there in tough times....don't flake out when times get hard, be there and be there in every capacity that you can. 3) The little things..try to remember birthdays, call often, and let them know that you are thinking about them. Life is too short to have not so great friends, so live and love and have fabulous friends and be one too!

All In..

My husband, Jared, was telling me about his latest poker game...I was dosing off during this conversation, ha! I do remember him saying that at some point you just have to go all in. That stuck with me as I realized that that's the kind of person I am....I go all in. As in, when I commit to something or someone, I am all in for whatever it takes to make the something or someone successful. When I love, I love deeply; when I have a goal, I will accomplish it; when I want to help someone, I'll go to the depths of my soul to help them. That's who I am...an all in kind of person. However, here's what I've learned that I can share with you if you are similar. 1) Be careful of what and who you are all in for. Not everyone is like you and not everyone will understand your passion. 2) Be cautious in your approaches... speak less and listen more. 3) No matter what, don't try to change who you are because there are not many in this world that care as much as you do for others. 4) Don't burn bridges for you never know when you may cross paths again. Always live life to the fullest. Enjoying what you do and who you are is essential to being successful.

Baseball Mom

Yes, as you just read, I am one of those crazy baseball moms. I played sports for as long as I can remember, so naturally, I knew my kids would play sports as well. However, I never realized I'd experience such emotions when my kids started playing. When I was in high school, I played soccer. I remember hearing my mom cheering (screaming) from the bleachers. My friends heard her too, every time, every game, they heard everything she said. Not that she was saying anything negative; in fact, she was probably our biggest fan. She was just loud, very loud. When I am screaming (cheering) for my kids, I try to remember that other parents may want their kids to hear them too. I get overcome with joy when they make great plays and overcome with nerves when they are attempting to make a play and I see that they don't want to fail. For example, last night my son, Reid, was playing second base in a baseball game and a ball was hit really high up. I saw him going for it, he looked confident, he looked amazing. However, I am his mom, I saw him biting his bottom lip with a little bit of nervousness as he was reaching his glove up in the air to catch the ball and make the out that his team needed. He caught it, made the out and then ran down the kid running to second base to tag him out. Double play!! Yes!!! I felt tears well up in my eyes, I was so proud of him because I knew he was proud of himself and at that moment, he developed confidence in himself as a baseball player. Am I supposed to get that emotional over baseball? I don't know the right answer to this question. All I can do is love these amazing kids that God has blessed us with and try to be their biggest cheerleader. I guess that's what all of the other crazy baseball moms are doing when they are wearing their baseball shirts, flip flops, hats, earrings, necklaces, etc. We all have a common bond; we want our babies to be the best that they can be and to know that their mommies will always be there for them...we are their biggest fans. From now on, when you see another crazy baseball mom, pay homage to her, she's just being the best mom she knows how to be.

The game

Are you playing the game at work? Gosh, I hate this whole game thing! I want to be promoted for my effort, for doing things above and beyond expectations, for being a great leader and for thinking outside of the box. I don't enjoy meaningless small talk and I don't like brown nosing. So how does one get ahead when the game is being played all around you? My hope is that it's not being played everywhere. That is my hope, but my reality is that it is being played to some extent everywhere. In some respect, it's not all bad. You get to know people that you don't work with on a daily basis that make decisions about yours and others future careers (or at least future career within that organization). They get to know you and see how you interact with others and what type of leader you are or could be. So let's start thinking about the game differently. I value genuine relationships and conversations. When I recognize someone's efforts, I want them to know that I am truly impressed. In saying that, I don't want it to seem that I'm just recognizing their efforts because I am supposed to. This is why I try to build "real" relationships with my teachers and students. I want them to know me and I want to know them. So maybe this whole game thing isn't really a game at all, maybe it's just uncomfortable to try to build relationships with people we don't know at all. Maybe this is why people call it a game; maybe they have missed the entire point. It's become a game to them because they have forgotten about what a relationship is. It is supposed to be about an authentic relationship with all stakeholders to achieve a common goal. I will keep being me and I hope that others will just be themselves as well, so we can accomplish great things together. There should be no "game," just people striving to be the best they can be and accomplishing great things with people they care about.

Feedback

As I'm deep into my second year as a high school assistant principal, I reflect about what being a leader really means. Now I know what you're thinking...you're thinking about the characteristics of a good leader. It's about being a great communicator, a motivator, a visionary, a professional, a role model, etc. However, what I'm talking about is, how do I impact the people around me? How do I truly impact their lives? As most educators know, being an assistant principal involves having a great deal of tasks to accomplish each and every day. You get radioed constantly for a variety of issues including but not limited to: student discipline, staff needing assistance, a class without a substitute, etc. It's easy to get lost in the daily chaos. In saying that, I know that student safety, student success and supporting teachers are the most vital pieces of my job. At my high school, I oversee an alpha group of students (approximately 500), as well as the Math and Career and Technical Education (CTE) Departments. For students to be successful, they must have great teachers. Most teachers don't just start off as great though. They need guidance and mentorship and that is where I come in. I went through an alternative teacher certification program when I decided to leave the Finance Industry and enter Education. When I walked into my first classroom, I had no idea what to expect. It was one of the most difficult, yet rewarding years on my life. I learned how to be better everyday. Surprisingly, I didn't learn from a great leader though. I learned every day from my student's behaviors and by watching other teachers. As I look back on that time, I think about the kind of leader I am today for my teachers. Teachers have the toughest job out there and I truly want to help them. It's my job! I taught CTE courses for five years before crossing over to the dark side (administration), as some call it. With that said, I can teach the heck out of some Business classes and most CTE classes as well. However, when I was first told that I would be over the Math Department, I had some concerns. My initial concerns were that I had never taught Algebra 1, Geometry, Algebra 2, etc. However, I had taught dual credit Accounting classes and so I thought that I could figure it out from that. What I've discovered over the past year and a half is that it doesn't matter about what you've taught in the past, it matters how well you taught it. A good leader should be able to recognize good teaching, no matter what the subject is. There are so many things that you can see, just by spending 10 minutes in a classroom. Are the students engaged (that's broad, but stay with me)? Are there good classroom management procedures in place? What types of questions are being asked? Not only by the teacher but also by the students. Ask yourself, was the lesson designed for the learners? This is what I can offer my teachers. I can provide them with the tools they need to be successful. I do firmly believe that you have to have the right people on the bus. You have to have the right people for the students that you serve. So once I have the right people, how do I continue to grow them and myself at the same time? I think if I knew the exact answer to that question, I'd be rich. However, I tell all of my teachers that I'm going to give them honest feedback. Just be honest. I have also told them that I expect them to give me the same kind of feedback. No one is perfect and we all need to grow. One piece of learning that I missed out on for a while was the student feedback. I tell my teachers all the time to ask their students for feedback constantly and they will definitely give it to you. It's amazing! If you set high standards for your students, your students will set high standards for themselves. Students will tell you what they need differently, how they need it and what it should look like. All you have to do is ask. When I was a teacher, I would modify and adjust based on student needs and feedback. That is how I grew as a teacher. That is how a lot of teachers grow - through feedback. Here's the kicker. As administrators, do we seek that same student feedback? Do we get out in the hallways and talk to our students? I wasn't dong that during my first year. I was just getting my feet wet and trying to figure out all of my responsibilities. However, there was a student at the end of my first school year that told me exactly what she thought about me raising my voice to her. She gave me real feedback and it was at the time, I realized how much I needed it. I had just been radioed that a teacher needed assistance with 2 of her students. I saw this particular student and another student outside in the hall being disrespectful to a substitute teacher. Or, so it appeared that way to me. She didn't respond to me as I had envisioned and so I began to pry for more information once we got back to my office. It was then that she gave me the most real feedback about myself that I received that entire year. And because of that feedback, I was able to change some of the ways that I do things. Feedback - that's what it's all about!